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How The Fashion World Glamorizes Rape, Abuse, And Murder

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Outside of a Zoolander situation, the fashion industry is about as dangerous as wearing plaid with stripes (that is, once you’re past the production phase). Or that’s what you might think if it’s been a while since you’ve thumbed through a filthy Vogue at the dentist. Contemporary fashion advertising is all about beautiful lifeless women, usually lying in puddles of artfully applied grime and contorted into broken, corpse-like sprawls. CBS Season 1 Walking Dead corpses were less messed up. Some of these images, like this shot from a series called Pretty Wasted, can be hard to distinguish from real crime […]

Ted Bundy Abducted And Nearly Murdered Me: How I Survived

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Get intimate with our new podcast Cracked Gets Personal. Subscribe for fascinating episodes like My Job Was Killing People: 3 Soldiers Tell Us Everything and Behind Every War News Story Is A 20-Something College Kid. Ted Bundy was a serial murderer who abducted, raped, and killed at least 30 women between 1974 and 1978. Over the course of his criminal career, a handful of women either escaped from or experienced near misses with Bundy. One of those women was our source today, Rhonda Stapley. She was abducted, raped, and nearly murdered by Bundy. If you need a trigger warning for […]

6 Online Trolls Who Are (Almost) Too Creepy For Words

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Although it started out as an experiment in friendliness and connectivity, the internet has since become a battlefield where you can get bombarded with death threats, dick pics, and worse, all because you disagreed with some blog post. But there were supposed to be rules. No pets. No elderly. No kids. You know, like the mafia. Except in recent years, it seems that not even children are safe from being used as hate-pinatas for the internet’s scum. For example … But possibly the worst case of infant cyberbullying was in 2015. One family started having some difficulties with their son, […]

8 Guys Who’d Make A Better Bachelor Than Arie Luyendyk Jr.

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Yesterday, ABC decided to ruin my life announced who the next Bachelor is and he is a total rando. That’s right people, the new Bachelor is a complete stranger to me, Arie fucking Luyendyk Jr., a man who was on FIVE YEARS AGO and who also looks about as fresh as the 40-year-old on Tinder I accidentally swiped right on. Because that’s clearly what America asked for: an accidental Tinder swipe. First of all, ABC, how dare you. The last time Arie was relevant to this franchise, I was drinking Four Lokos that still had caffeine in them. THAT’S THE […]

6 Movie Soundtracks With Secrets You Totally Missed

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From the days of pianos accompanying silent films to the “wah-ki-chacka” guitars that somehow made you feel cool for watching sleazy pornos, music has always been an important component of movies. Sometimes, though, there’s more than meets the ear with these things. So in case you were too distracted by the sounds of teenagers making out in the darkness all around you to pay attention, let’s review some of the most brain-exploding secret messages ever hidden on movie soundtracks: Aaron Krerowicz And remember Anakin and Padme’s love theme from Episode II? You really should, because the first three notes are […]

The Types Of Girls You Always See On ‘The Bachelor’

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Sadly, this season of is coming to a close. We all learned a lot, mostly about implicit racial biases and what cheek implants look like, but thats still a lot. Soon, well know who Rachel has chosen BRYAN * and well be ready to move onto the next phase of The Bachelor franchise aka  aka the best of all Bachelor Nation shows. Now that the scandal is behind them (is it??? idk), will finally be able to focus on the beloved personalities that make them shitloads of money America has grown to love. Anyone who is a long time fan knows […]

Why Oral Matters More Than You Think

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Even if you have a betchy resting face, having a beautiful smile is still important. Like sure, maybe you tell catcallers to fuck off when they tell you to smile, but that’s only because you spend time perfecting your smile and they’re not worthy of it. Your teeth are the only exception to the “never wear all white” rule, because when it comes to your smile, you can have a perfect one. Instead of going to drug stores and buying cheap DIY teeth whitening kits, you should do yourself a favor and get a professional in-office teeth whitening from someone […]

How To Look Noticeably Hotter By The Time School Starts

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It’s summertime and the livin’ is easy. Well, for those of you who don’t spend your summer in hell working while on vacay from partying studying in school…must be nice. Since all you’ve done for two months is roast and black out in broad daylight, it’s easy to lose track of time so you end up asking yourself, “Wait, what day is it?” In case you haven’t paid attention, it’s fucking mid-August, which means you only have (at most) three weeks to prep for school, aka you’re running out of time to look good AF and walk onto campus with […]

6 Once-Popular Movies Genres Hollywood Doesn’t Make Anymore

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Read Next 6 We Haven’t Had A Good Whodunnit Since 2001 What We Used To Have: Clue, Rear Window, Ten Little Indians, Gosford Park … fuck it, let’s count Murder At 1600. What We Have Now: That new Murder On The Orient Express … provided it doesn’t blow a turd. I should be clear about what I mean by “whodunnit,” because the murder mystery genre can encompass a lot of things. At its purest, it takes place in a small location, preferably with characters who are unable to leave. There should be at least one mustache. Also, it’s important to […]

5 Iconic Performances (That Everyone On Set Hated)

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While actors, directors, and screenwriters might want to try something new and innovative, studio executives are businesspeople who would prefer everyone do exactly what worked the last time. Maybe this time, throw in a giant spider or two. Hollywood is basically a staring contest between folks who try to break the mold and the guys who built that mold in the first place. So it should come as little surprise that many of the iconic characters you know and love are the result of actors stepping up and refusing to blink. Like … #5. The Producers Feared Johnny Depp’s Performance […]
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